25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. -Ephesians 5:25-28
The Bible says, Husbands, love your wives. That is the greatest calling husbands have. No matter what choices your children make. No matter how ill-treated you are in the marketplace. No matter how you are betrayed by friends and other people. Your place is to love your wife. If you get this one thing right, you are a successful man. This is an awesome calling that we’ve been given, to selflessly love our wives.
This kind of love is an act of the will. Some people are like, “I’m kind of not feeling it anymore.” This isn’t a feeling move; this is an act of your will. The sequence is: first discipline, then desire, then delight. In other words, do the things that love does and you will feel the things that love feels. Men, start doing again the things that love does. Think back to how you wooed this girl and how you won this girl and how many of those things you don’t do anymore. Shame on you! First actions, then the feelings that follow. Get busy about those things.
And just as a way of a reminder, God holds you responsible for this. In Genesis 3 when Adam and Eve fell, we understand the husband was given responsibility for the wife. Genesis 2:18 says, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him.’” In Genesis 3, once Adam and Eve ate the fruit, God held Adam accountable. And even though the woman ate first, Adam was not there to take care of her and protect her. He had failed in his responsibility. God moved not first to Eve but to Adam to hold him accountable for his family.
Husband, you are responsible for the temperature of the marriage in your home. You are responsible. God holds you responsible. Someday you are going to stand before Christ and account for your marriage. So you might as well get busy with that now, and it starts with figuring out what it means to love your wife and then following through on that hard, fast, and continuously.
- It may seem daunting to a woman to know she is called to yield/submit to her husband, but what does it mean for a husband to “die” for his wife (see verse 25)?
Prayer – Almighty Father, husbands have a daunting task to represent Your character in their marriages and families. We who are husbands know we fall short. Help us not to give up under our failures, but use them to drive us to depend more closely and continually on You, without whom we cannot be in the place You call us to be for our wives. Give us the attentive wisdom to learn what it means to love our wives and then make it the most important task we get done each day. In Jesus’ name, Amen.